 Look at this f--king borough president: Last night inveterate corn dog Marty Markowitz arrived on stage via tricycle for his State of the Borough address in Sunset Park. Wearing a green helmet and toting a basketful of Junior’s famously overrated cheesecake, the Brooklyn Borough President kicked off his 90 minute (!) speech with another swipe against the DOT, which he's repeatedly criticized for installing a bike lane on Prospect Park West. (For the record, President Obama's State of the UNION lasted about an hour, including glad-handing.) Are you ready to SLAP YOUR KNEE? Video below: [MORE]  | Things just are not going well for Schools Chancellor Cathie Black. Not well at all. On top of her disastrous Wednesday night appearance (in which she mocked jeering parents at a vote over 10 school closures) last night things got so tense that more than a thousand angry parents, union members and teachers stormed out of a meeting regarding another 12 school closures. ""Ms. Black, what in the world is wrong with you? You show utter contempt and scorn for the parents you should be serving. If you don't want to be here, then leave—because many of us don't want you here anyway," City Councilman Jumaane Williams (D-Brooklyn) told the Chancellor.... [ MORE ] |  | It's not snowing, sleeting, raining, double-rainbowing... those are clear skies out there! But even a soft breeze is enough to take the L train down. It's so fragile. Currently there are no L trains into Manhattan, according to Brooklyn365, who says Williamsburg's Bedford Avenue platform is now "SWARMED with folks trying to get cabs." You have been warned. We've contacted the MTA—their site claims the L has "good service"—and we'll update when we hear back. If you are encountering any problems out there, send us your notes from the underground.... [ MORE ] |  | There was supposed to be a battle of the protests before this afternoon's twice-postponed City Council hearing on whether New Yorkers should allow Walmart's corporate wickedness to taint our saintly city, but it ended up being a one-sided fight.... [ MORE ] |  | A woman who has claimed China has persecuted her because she removed a government-required intrauterine device is continuing her fight for asylum in the United State. While an immigration judge and immigration appeals panel believed she and her 9-year-old son should be deported, the Daily News reports, "The 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals has ordered the lower courts to take another look and explain why China's policy of forcing women to get the devices doesn't amount to persecution."... [ MORE ] |  | We already knew that Starbucks' newest cup size, the 31-ounce Trenta, was almost twice the size of a full human bladder. But you know what it is almost exactly the size of? A bottle of wine.... [ MORE ] |  | Teenagers: They'll use any tools at their disposal to ruin everything. And with all this snow lying around, they're armed with a seemingly inexhaustible weapons cache. If the teenagers were a nation, they'd be North Korea, and the weather is their Pakistan. Isolated and chafing under sanctions imposed by the grown-up countries of the world, they lash out unpredictably, and hold the entire planet hostage with their mercurial, menacing behavior. If it was up to us, we'd bomb them back to the stone age, but with Washington lacking the political will to take action, the international community is at their mercy. Mailman Russell Bumpurs is their latest victim.... [ MORE ] |  | Lonely Planet is at it again—this time pitting NYC against LA in what would be a laughable battle if we weren't so cold right now, and craving decent Mexican food. The creators of the poll say they are here to put "this historic banter to a test." They do seem to know what they're talking about, in it they include their pick for best city tour: "the elevated purple No 7 subway line across Queens is actually deemed a national historic trail, akin to Lewis & Clark. Going on/off it is one of NYC's classic one-day explorations many miss." You can place your vote here (and seriously, vote—because we totally lost to San Francisco recently and that is not okay).... [ MORE ] | | |
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